What Price Are You Willing to Pay?

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I worked hard to get to where I was in my career. I was making decent money, I had good benefits and perks and we could go on family vacations that I only dreamt of as a kid. And the doors of opportunities opened everywhere for us. I was proud of how far I had made it without the formal education or training normally necessary and I was blessed to have been given this opportunity by my bosses. But something was really wrong. I was miserable.

I struggled to get the work done which stressed me out because I have perfectionist tendencies. I’m very dominant right-brained – creative, intuitive, and feeling but was working in what I felt was a left-brained industry. My creative and innovative side was dying to escape. I also need freedom and flexibility and struggled to deal with the strict policies and time frames. I love helping people and making their lives better but felt my work wasn’t giving me any of that.

This led to misery. I dreaded Monday through Friday. But spent weekends still miserable in anticipation of the following week. I lived for vacation time and sick days. On top of that, I was stressing myself to the point where my health was affected. I suffered from chronic migraines, infection after infection, constant colds and an autoimmune disease that flared up when the stress got too high.

I loved the lifestyle we had, but it was costing me a lot more than I cared to lose. I craved to unleash my creativity. I love personal development and I desperately wanted to pursue a career that allowed me to grow and to help others to grow.

Walking away had a cost. But so did staying.

I chose to follow my heart and left. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I didn’t want to make. After all, I worked so hard to get to where I was. We were in a good financial position and were secure.

But time is so precious. And life is so short and unpredictable. I don’t want to have regrets and so much time has passed already that I could have easily stayed but it was just delaying the inevitable.

If this resonates with you, weigh the costs. If you’re staying at a job because you don’t want to start a job search, the money is good, you like the status, but are miserable, ask yourself if it’s worth it. You may still answer yes in which case a simple perspective change may be all you need, but if the answer is no, this is something worth exploring.

What is the cost of your happiness / freedom / flexibility or whatever it is that you are are longing for?

On Our Own Paths

I’m learning a lesson about being on my own path and allowing others to freely be on theirs. Even loved ones.

I recently heard from a close friend that was having problems, and this has been an ongoing issue for years but they confided that things were tough right now. This time felt different, I could hear the stress and emotion in their voice and it kind of scared me. So I started sharing all of the resources I knew of that could help them and tried to change their perspective on their situation. It didn’t seem like what I was saying was landing with them though. After we hung up, thoughts ran through my head of how I could help them. I could engage the help of others that also care for this friend and would want to help. I could also try to refer them to one of my trusted coach friends or perhaps encourage them to speak to someone. After many days of trying to think of ways to help, sending text messages and emails checking in, encouraging them to look at life in a more positive light, or to read a book that had helped me through, I came back to the realization that I can’t help someone who isn’t ready for help.

They are choosing their own path and I can’t change that. Just as much as I don’t want anyone trying to change the path I am choosing to take. I will be there for them when they need it, and if they ask for my help, I will do what I can.

This isn’t a new lesson, it’s just one that is taking me time to learn.different paths - jens-leliefor unsplash

okay, i admit … I did try to quit.

i can admit... i did try to quit. (1).pngLast year, we got into a business partnership that was less than ideal. It was a rushed decision and it was quite complicated… I should also mention that it was with family which further complicated everything. There were roadblocks every step of the way. But we pushed through and got the deal done.

The first year of business was alright, we didn’t make a lot of money, but we figured that’s to be expected. However, it was stressful and there were quite a few arguments between the partners. It got ugly at times.

Then the second year rolled around and expectations were a bit higher in terms of business (which didn’t pick up much more than the first year), but all of the partners’ expectations changed. We expected things to be different having put some time in. In retrospect, the problem was that we didn’t change much in terms of effort though.

After even more arguments and realizing that the business still wasn’t cash flowing, I have to admit, I threw in the towel. I insisted that our only option was to sell the business and wash our hands of the whole situation. I just needed to get rid of the stress and drama. Emotion had taken over. I wanted to run away. I wanted to give the business away. Anything to not deal with it anymore.

So we called in professionals to give us assessments of what the business could sell for. Sadly, we were told we wouldn’t be able to recoup the money we had put into it. But I didn’t care. I wanted it gone.

Then another roadblock. No one was interested in buying. So we were stuck.

Luckily, my husband decided to persevere. He went online to look for ways to help grow our business and started advertising and soon we were getting inquiries that led to more customers! Seeing his results, I got on board and started helping him. We aren’t totally there yet, but it is looking much more positive than even a month ago.

I realized today that I had become so blinded by the problem, I refused to look for solutions. I wanted to take the easiest and fastest way out. I’ve learned a few lessons through this experience:

  1. There are always more solutions than what meets the eye.
  2. Quitting is easy. But in doing so, you miss the lessons and growth that can happen along the way.
  3. Don’t rush business decisions.
  4. Use caution when mixing business with family.

Do you have a story of when you tried to quit but it turned into a win? Please comment below.

Why living in the past, gets me nowhere fast

Unsplash - Austin Schmid

Who knew that personal development took so much work and energy. Changing my belief systems, sorting through my emotional baggage, and showing up as my true self has been an ongoing process.

Yesterday I found myself in a mood. A really ugly angry and frustrated mood. I wanted to scream and throw a big temper tantrum at how unfair things are and why things haven’t worked out quite as I’ve planned. So I let myself go through most of the day ranting and raving to my closest friends about how terrible my life is.

Then it hit me. I have been living in the past. I had been going over past failures and past regrets. I was thinking about past arguments and rehashing them in my mind, only to feel worse. I was telling myself I’m not where I should be and blaming others for where I am.

I had totally disempowered myself. There is not a single thing I can do to change my past, except to change my perception of it.

Today is a new day! Everything that happened before this very moment, has no bearing anymore, I can’t go back and change it. So from now on I am choosing to look to the future. To let go of past wrongs, past hurts and past regrets.

Do you live in the past or are you living for the future? Leave me a comment.

Time is ticking

I like taking time to reflect and evaluate whether I’m on track to living the life I had planned for myself. In some ways, I’m living far better than I had imagined or dreamed of. And in other ways, I’m so far behind in where I thought I’d be by now. 

One major sticking point has been my career. I’ve been really blessed with some great opportunities in life. I’ve learned and grown a lot since finishing college. And I’ve met some great people along the way. But I’ve been struggling with this one huge goal of mine and that is to be a full-time entrepreneur. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing bosses, and a supportive and great work environment, but I’m still working 9-5 Monday through Friday. I look forward to the evenings and weekends where I come alive for my own business. 

I often think about how as I wish Monday through Friday away, life is passing me by. I’m spending 5 days a week just living for 2. I’ve had friends pass away, sometimes suddenly, or friends or family members whose lives have changed in an instant due to an accident, illness or tragedy and this pushes me to keep chasing my dreams. These are reminders that there are no guarantees in life. I don’t want to look back on my life wishing I had the courage to pursue my goals so I listen intently for the loud ticking of the clock to motivate me to keep going. 

I’m grateful that I have the health, resources and support as I create the life I want. Is there something you’ve always wanted but are waiting for the right time? If so, that time is right now.

Oh the layers…

I’ve been working on changing my limiting beliefs, especially around money. I’d have to compare this process to peeling an onion. There are many layers and sometimes many tears. 

Just as I gain some financial momentum in life, I’d find ways to sabotage it. After doing this a few times, I realized it was time to deep dive into my beliefs and start changing them. 

Starting with my childhood, I’d heard over and over that we didn’t have the money to buy things or go on trips. Then as my friends and I were preparing for post-secondary, their parents had saved for their education so they were pursuing the highest level possible, but I had to take out student loans so didn’t want to take on large debt so looked for the shortest program possible that I felt would suit me. 

Using meditation, tapping, journaling, and affirmations, I’ve been working through those layers. Then I looked at my adulthood patterns. I continued playing small feeling like I didn’t deserve a high paying job, then when I had an opportunity and was making good money, I felt I needed to quit. As my business started gaining momentum, I decided I didn’t deserve it, and it slowed right down. It’s been a work in progress to break through years of beliefs, but everyday, my relationship with money changes. And I’ll keep peeling back the layers and working through the emotions until I no longer need to.  

The lessons I’ve learned through all of this are that I may not have grown up with a lot of money, but I grew up with an abundance of love and all of my needs were met. I had food, clothes, and shelter. My family stands by me through thick and thin and I know I always have a strong support system behind me. I’ve also learned that as an adult I get to choose what I believe and buy into. 

If you’re working through something similar, please keep peeling back the layers, no matter how ugly it gets. It’ll be worth it. 

Who Are YOUR People?

I’m putting myself out there right now. This is real authentic me. 
While I chase my dreams to create the life I want, I have to find the courage to do things I’ve never done, in order to accomplish things I never have. This includes putting myself out there. And it’s scary. I read and re-read my posts a thousand times before hitting publish because I’m already afraid of judgement. I question some of my decisions because I sometimes question if I’m ready to expose the real me. But I push through that fear and do it anyway. 

Unfortunately I have found that the people closest to me are my worst critics. They ridicule, criticize, and judge me. And to be honest, it hurts. It makes me want to head straight back to my comfort zone. To continue living the life I always have and to be the person they’ve come to expect of me. 

But in those moments, I turn to the cheerleaders in my life. The ones that tell me to keep going, to keep being me and to ignore the naysayers.

If you’ve been chasing your dreams, living courageously and putting yourself out there, keep going. You got this! Find your people. They’re the ones who believe in you when no one (including yourself at times) does. 

And for the naysayers, you don’t have to believe in my dream, but you also don’t have to try to crush it either. 

A huge shout out to my people! I honestly couldn’t do this without you.