Why living in the past, gets me nowhere fast

Unsplash - Austin Schmid

Who knew that personal development took so much work and energy. Changing my belief systems, sorting through my emotional baggage, and showing up as my true self has been an ongoing process.

Yesterday I found myself in a mood. A really ugly angry and frustrated mood. I wanted to scream and throw a big temper tantrum at how unfair things are and why things haven’t worked out quite as I’ve planned. So I let myself go through most of the day ranting and raving to my closest friends about how terrible my life is.

Then it hit me. I have been living in the past. I had been going over past failures and past regrets. I was thinking about past arguments and rehashing them in my mind, only to feel worse. I was telling myself I’m not where I should be and blaming others for where I am.

I had totally disempowered myself. There is not a single thing I can do to change my past, except to change my perception of it.

Today is a new day! Everything that happened before this very moment, has no bearing anymore, I can’t go back and change it. So from now on I am choosing to look to the future. To let go of past wrongs, past hurts and past regrets.

Do you live in the past or are you living for the future? Leave me a comment.

Time is ticking

I like taking time to reflect and evaluate whether I’m on track to living the life I had planned for myself. In some ways, I’m living far better than I had imagined or dreamed of. And in other ways, I’m so far behind in where I thought I’d be by now. 

One major sticking point has been my career. I’ve been really blessed with some great opportunities in life. I’ve learned and grown a lot since finishing college. And I’ve met some great people along the way. But I’ve been struggling with this one huge goal of mine and that is to be a full-time entrepreneur. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing bosses, and a supportive and great work environment, but I’m still working 9-5 Monday through Friday. I look forward to the evenings and weekends where I come alive for my own business. 

I often think about how as I wish Monday through Friday away, life is passing me by. I’m spending 5 days a week just living for 2. I’ve had friends pass away, sometimes suddenly, or friends or family members whose lives have changed in an instant due to an accident, illness or tragedy and this pushes me to keep chasing my dreams. These are reminders that there are no guarantees in life. I don’t want to look back on my life wishing I had the courage to pursue my goals so I listen intently for the loud ticking of the clock to motivate me to keep going. 

I’m grateful that I have the health, resources and support as I create the life I want. Is there something you’ve always wanted but are waiting for the right time? If so, that time is right now.

Oh the layers…

I’ve been working on changing my limiting beliefs, especially around money. I’d have to compare this process to peeling an onion. There are many layers and sometimes many tears. 

Just as I gain some financial momentum in life, I’d find ways to sabotage it. After doing this a few times, I realized it was time to deep dive into my beliefs and start changing them. 

Starting with my childhood, I’d heard over and over that we didn’t have the money to buy things or go on trips. Then as my friends and I were preparing for post-secondary, their parents had saved for their education so they were pursuing the highest level possible, but I had to take out student loans so didn’t want to take on large debt so looked for the shortest program possible that I felt would suit me. 

Using meditation, tapping, journaling, and affirmations, I’ve been working through those layers. Then I looked at my adulthood patterns. I continued playing small feeling like I didn’t deserve a high paying job, then when I had an opportunity and was making good money, I felt I needed to quit. As my business started gaining momentum, I decided I didn’t deserve it, and it slowed right down. It’s been a work in progress to break through years of beliefs, but everyday, my relationship with money changes. And I’ll keep peeling back the layers and working through the emotions until I no longer need to.  

The lessons I’ve learned through all of this are that I may not have grown up with a lot of money, but I grew up with an abundance of love and all of my needs were met. I had food, clothes, and shelter. My family stands by me through thick and thin and I know I always have a strong support system behind me. I’ve also learned that as an adult I get to choose what I believe and buy into. 

If you’re working through something similar, please keep peeling back the layers, no matter how ugly it gets. It’ll be worth it. 

Who Are YOUR People?

I’m putting myself out there right now. This is real authentic me. 
While I chase my dreams to create the life I want, I have to find the courage to do things I’ve never done, in order to accomplish things I never have. This includes putting myself out there. And it’s scary. I read and re-read my posts a thousand times before hitting publish because I’m already afraid of judgement. I question some of my decisions because I sometimes question if I’m ready to expose the real me. But I push through that fear and do it anyway. 

Unfortunately I have found that the people closest to me are my worst critics. They ridicule, criticize, and judge me. And to be honest, it hurts. It makes me want to head straight back to my comfort zone. To continue living the life I always have and to be the person they’ve come to expect of me. 

But in those moments, I turn to the cheerleaders in my life. The ones that tell me to keep going, to keep being me and to ignore the naysayers.

If you’ve been chasing your dreams, living courageously and putting yourself out there, keep going. You got this! Find your people. They’re the ones who believe in you when no one (including yourself at times) does. 

And for the naysayers, you don’t have to believe in my dream, but you also don’t have to try to crush it either. 

A huge shout out to my people! I honestly couldn’t do this without you. 

From wantrepreneur to entrepreneur

As a child, I remember having different business ideas and thinking of ways I could solve other people’s problems. My ideas included things like being a tailor who would make clothes customized to different body types. I was always short and skinny and had a hard time finding clothes that flattered my body type so I wanted to address this issue. Another business idea I had was to be a wedding planner, who would find economical ways of making wedding dreams a reality.  I also dreamt of opening a gym. But not just any gym, one that allowed people to book private rooms so they could work out in a place they felt comfortable but had access to any equipment or support they needed.

Somehow life got in the way of my business dreams. I went away to school and then found myself in one good job that led to the next. I have to admit, I’ve been given some amazing opportunities. But none of them have brought me fulfilment. And some, no matter how great the opportunity, made me miserable.

A few years ago, my husband and I started investing in real estate and learning about the different strategies. The freedom to make our own decisions, to be creative with our business and to reap the rewards was liberating. It changed my view of my career and it inspired me. So late last year, I decided it was time to free that entrepreneurial spirit in me and I started my own career services business. Going from wantrepreneur to entrepreneur has been the best decision of my life. I love calling my own shots. I love having an idea, executing it and then seeing it through or deciding to dump it. There’s a lot of hard work involved. It’s still a baby business but every single day, I work on it to take it just one step further.

If you’ve been a wantrepreneur for years, it’s time to go after your dream. What step can you take today?

 

How Just 1 Conversation Impacted My Life

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Photo by Greg Rakozy

It hit me like a brick over the head this morning…

Actually, I’ll start from the present and work my way backwards. As some of you may know, I had been struggling with my previous career choice for awhile. I was in a technical role that caused me a great deal of stress, didn’t feel right, and made me feel inadequate.

I had been telling myself, and everyone who would listen, that my brain isn’t wired to be in a technical related role. I believed in my very core that this was the reason for all of my stress and unhappiness.

But for some reason this morning I woke up and recalled a conversation I had with my high school science teacher. I had enrolled in Human Biology because it would keep my options for post-secondary education open. But she strongly advised against it. She felt I wouldn’t succeed in this class and since I had already fulfilled my science requirements for my diploma, I should stick with courses I could pass. AHA! 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming her for anything. Her intentions were good, she was trying to save me from what she felt would be failure. She simply made an observation, based on her professional opinion, and I chose to buy into it. Without a second thought, I switched into a different course and started telling myself that I’m not good in science. I carried that belief throughout high school, post-secondary, and for the first part of my career.

However, recalling that 1 conversation taught me 2 powerful life lessons. First, I need to question my other limiting beliefs and where they stem from. And secondly, there’s a difference between “can’t” and “won’t”. I’m not interested in science and engineering, so therefore, I won’t continue to pursue a career in it, but I’ve already proven to myself, that I can, if I want to.

Are you a cruiser or the captain?

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Photo by Katherine McCormack for Unsplash

Since finishing college, I was just cruising along in my career. I’d apply, get an interview, sign the offer, and go to work Monday through Friday. This worked well for me for years. I had pursued higher positions, earned decent money, and enjoyed the friendships I’d made along the way.

However, something changed in the past few years. I craved more. I would wake up Monday through Friday with dread. But I wanted to wake up looking forward to my day. I wanted to feel meaning and purpose. 

As a side note, meaningful work looks different for everyone. Some people want to be doctors because they love healing, some want to be teachers because they love educating. But to some, it could mean they are building a family’s new home or cleaning a hotel room so the next guests will enjoy their stay. Only you can decide what your career means to you. 

I decided it was time to own my career. Be the captain of my career-ship.

But to be honest, I hadn’t given too much thought to what my purpose even was. Funny enough, I had been resume writing and career coaching, to some degree, since college and enjoyed it, yet, hadn’t even thought to pursue it. But once I realized how much I love helping people with their careers and learned from personal experience why career management is so important, I was driven. I completed two certifications, and continue participating in professional development. I started seeking the help of coaches and mentors that could help me get to where I was aiming. Now I have the pleasure and the opportunity to help others figure out their purpose and the steps they can take to pursue it.

Being the captain of your career requires work, analyzing yourself and your goals,and is an ongoing process. But it’s worth it.

Are you a cruiser or the captain of your career-ship?